Hiya, Pal!

Happy Summer! Watch out for that sun… hope you have plenty of SPF. No, I’m not talking about sunscreen, I’m talking about SQUIRMISH PLAY FUN. No sunscreen is needed to avoid sunburn… simply spend your entire summer holed up in a cool, dark basement playing your favorite videogame Squirmish!
Speaking of Summer… it is currently the annual Steam Summer Sale! Squirmish is 50% off on Steam right now to celebrate sunshine, more sunshine, melting popsicles, dogs hiding in terror from fireworks, and the smell of hot asphalt as it burns your bare feet. Again; cool, dark basement with videogames on the teevee is beckoning you.


“Gonzo, crass, and hilarious, Squirmish is one of the weirdest, most amusing digital board games out there—but its gameplay also carries its weight. The voice acting made us cackle.” – Recommended by Steam Curator Noteworthy Video Games
“Recommended. Proudly crude in every sense of the word, this adaptation of the zany tabletop title offers a breadth and depth in both its gameplay and set of features. But it’s the hilarious voice acting that’s #1.” – Recommended by Steam Curator The Absolute Finest
“The first thing that stands out about the game is how much it looks and feels just like the card game in terms of presentation and artwork. All the cards the game has are in this digital copy with bright neon green background, crazy colors, characters zany and the whole thing feels like it was vomited up by a unicorn who had a fantastic day at the carnival eating all the candy and taking all the rides. And let me make myself clear, this is not a bad thing.” – Dad Geek at Geeks Vs. Geeks
“I’ve been a longtime fan of the tabletop card game and have been curious how the game would translate to digital. The answer is… squeamishly great. Squirmish is a game that’s a little hideous and extremely bizarre in all the best ways, and seeing the world’s characters animated is a warped delight. As far as the gameplay side, the game provides a surprisingly intense little battling game with a lot of strategy and just a little luck to keep things interesting. The game’s cast of 70 monsters is packed with a diverse selection of abilities and attack powers, many of them changing the tide of battle in unique and interesting ways. Additionally, you’ll find various clusters of fighters that are part of different “groups” that become stronger when multiple are on the board, whether controlled by you, your opponent, or both. Card game enthusiasts (especially anyone who enjoys the Pokemon TCG) will have a lot to chew on as they find their favorite strategies and monsters.” – Recommended on Steam by PewterPiranha
“I’m not familiar with the tabletop game it’s based on (imagine having IRL friends ;p), but this game’s got a nice balance of having a solid tutorial and loads of depth (especially in terms of card interactions/synergies). fantastic hand-drawn art, monster designs, and the sense of humor is genuinely amusing and endearing. plus the voice acting is delightful. seems like a robust package, will have to wrangle some friends together to go for some online shenanigans.” – Recommended on Steam by MarshMelody
In addition to these awesome reviews, we have also had some players stream their games… here are a couple to check out:
GEEKPUNKT (in German)
If you or your buddies review or stream Squirmish, I’d love to hear about it so I can include it in the newsletter. Please send me your links!


Orange Generic Guy, best known as Human One, the default player avatar in Squirmish has a mission. He’s decided to see if he can battle all the way through the Squirmish Rogue’s Gallery! You can watch his epic quest unfold on YouTube here. You may even learn some good Squirmish strategy along the way… through both good and bad examples!


A new technical advancement that will STUN THE WORLD has been added to Squirmish: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties in our latest update! We have developed… the HYPERSPAZ button!
Yes, they said it couldn’t be done… they said it was impossible… they said it was just a fancy name for a fast-forward button… BUT WE SHOWED THEM! Mad, they called us! MAD! Mad is not my name!

Tired of Picklepuss and his incessant whining? Sick of Beatknock’s endless poetic prattling? Don’t want to wait for General Mayhem to figure out the last detail of his master plan?

Well now you can feel like some dashing space pilot in a vest with a tough exterior (but a heart of gold) as you click that HYPERSPAZ button and watch the time whiz by like a well-oiled roadrunner thrown off of the Empire State Building!*

ABOVE: Pompaduck points out the location of the new HYPERSPAZ button. It can be activated by holding down the button, using the spacebar, by using the right trigger button on your controller, or by standing in place and spinning around until you get nauseous.

*PLEASE NOTE we are NOT RESPONSIBLE for premature growing of long grey whiskers, or for time paradoxes that may be caused by frequent use of the HYPERSPAZ button. In the event you meet a version of your parents that are younger than you, best to go outside and play.





Some notes from the Version Update: 0.3.18 (Early Access) Rogues’ Gallery Win Streaks and Prize Cards
Rogues’ Gallery In the spirit of Early Access, we continue to improve and evolve the Rogue’s Gallery content into a more complete experience. Previously, it was not obvious in the game that defeating each rogue opponent not only unlocked the next opponent but also unlocked use of that rogue’s character as your in-game avatar. When used as an avatar, that character’s animations appear in the left hand portrait during matches and you can express yourself using that character’s collection of Smacktalk emotes.
With this update, we’ve made it a little more challenging to unlock each rogue’s avatar. Moving forward, a simple defeat of a Rogues’ Gallery opponent will unlock the next opponent and earn you a Steam Achievement, but to unlock a rogue’s avatar for your own use, you must defeat the rogue 3 times in a row in the Rogues’ Gallery. (Sparring matches don’t count).
To track your win streaks, each rogue portrait in the Rogues’ Gallery lobby is now decorated with 3 stars. With a win streak of one, one of these stars will be lit yellow, and the others gray. When all three are yellow, the rogue’s avatar becomes permanently unlocked and you also get a Prize Card (see below). Note that this requires a 3-game win streak, not merely 3 wins. If you lose or concede a game against a rogue, your win streak against that rogue will reset to zero, and all that rogue’s stars will become gray again. Once you’ve unlocked some rogue avatars, you can switch to a new avatar using the User Settings popup that can be opened on the home screen.
Prize Cards Prize Cards are a new addition this release. A Prize Card is very similar to a Steam Achievement, except they are unique to Squirmish and signify accomplishments that also unlock important items or features. Plus, although they have no in-game effect, they look just like other Squirmish cards.
A PRIZES section has been added in the CARDS area of the game, next to COLLECTION, DECKS, and MINI-DECKS. All awarded prize cards can be browsed in this section, and you can examine each of them they same way you examine any other Squirmish card. Each will explain what you accomplished to earn the card, and what prize was unlocked by it. Each prize card even even has its own “battle cry”. The first block of Prize Cards are awarded for accomplishing a challenging win streak against a rogue, and each one unlocks the rogue avatar pictured on the card.


New rulebooks for Squirmish (both the videogame and the tabletop game) have recently been completed. You can check them out at the links below. The updated version of the tabletop game will be coming very soon (along with some new expansions).
SQUIRMISH: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties rules 1.0
SQUIRMISH: The Card Game of Brawling Beasties rules 3.0


Along with getting ready for the videogame launch, I have been working on a lot of new Squirmish cards for future release. In the last email (and on our Discord server), I introduced you to CHOMPSTER with this hand-drawn-on-paper-like-it-was-the-nineteenth-century image…
Chompster’s card has now been completed! Here is the final color art.
I previewed the Chompster color art on the Squirmish Discord server a while ago, along with a couple of other new characters you can go there and take a looksie at, if you wanna. That is not the only reason to check out our Discord…
We’ve been having fun making loads of emoji and stickers for our Squirmish Discord server. Emoji of all 70 classic Squirmish fighters are now available, along with a bunch of fun animated emoji and stickers of different characters in the videogame. Here are a few of my favorites:

Prancy Pepperpot gives a greeting:

Oinker, the embodiment of internet outrage:
Shoobozzle does not approve of any of this:

Check the rest of ’em out at the Squirmish Discord server!

In the event you have Discord Nitro, you can use the Squirmish stickers and emoji anywhere on Discord!

Note the stickers can be removed with persistence using a mixture of cooking oil, salt, a hair dryer, uncut fingernails and a lot of elbow grease.

Anyhow, thanks again for playing Squirmish and for subscribing! I don’t care what everyone says about you; you’re one of the good ones, buddy!
Yer pal,



Hiya, Pal!

The lilacs are blooming! The birds are chirping! What a glorious Spring! A great time to get outside… and an even better time to hole up in your basement with a brand new videogame!

Squirmish: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties (early release) is NOW AVAILABLE on Steam as of TODAY! Yes, just in time for DANCE LIKE A CHICKEN DAY!

From today until May 28th, you can get Squirmish on Steam for 30% off… a mere $4.89 (regularly $6.99). If you don’t like saving money, though, you may want to wait. Check it out here!


“In the fifth month, the sun rising, on the magic sparkle boxes there shall come a ridiculous amusement. It shall contain cards of varied creatures; some reptilian, some mammalian, some vaudevillian. And many cats. And, lo, there shall be a tiny pink conqueror. Great battles shall ensue. Guts shall be busted, and teeth shall gnash in chattering guffaws. It shall be known as Squirmick: The Vibbeogrome of Squalling Quamblits.” -Nostradamus

16th-century oracle Nostradamus, who successfully predicted Theodore Roosevelt’s mustache, the Hippy Hippy Shake, The Dewey Decimal System, FAX machines, and the use of mayonnaise as a condiment has hit another one out of the park!

Or at least he was close! Yes, the game is actually called Squirmish, not Squirmick… but he pretty much got it right otherwise.

Ok, he kind of blew it. Seriously, Nostradamus, what is a Squirmick? Squirm-ISH. And what the heck is a squalling quamblit? I think you had your hat on too tight. Some oracle.

Squirmish: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties is a hilarious turn-based card-battling game for online PVP or solo play. Find your favorite creature cards and battle them against your opponent’s beastie brigade. Strange strategies and interactions of the wildly-varying cards create a unique, unpredictable and infinitely-playable game! On Steam now!

You can check out some gameplay videos on the Squirmish Steam Page or our YouTube page.

Here is some recent online coverage of Squirmish…

Check out Sammy Salamy playing Squirmish here.

Along with getting ready for the videogame launch, I have been working on a lot of new Squirmish cards for future release. Here is a new brawler I drew the other day and posted to our Discord server… CHOMPSTER…

Chompster’s current battle cry is “I have a killer smile!” When I

finish coloring him, I’ll post the art to the Discord. I plan to post some other previews of upcoming art and fun stuff there as well.

Anyhow, thanks again for playing Squirmish and for subscribing! I’ll talk to you again soon.

Actually, I’ll type to you again soon, I suppose.

Or maybe it should be “type at you?” That sounds rude.

We could totally break this comfortable illusion of chumminess that you and I have been developing here, and go with “typed on my computer, alone save for my cat, to you and an array of randos and probable bots who have somehow subscribed to this list.”

Let’s just stick with with the pleasant lie of “talk to you soon,” shall we?

Yer pal,



The below email was just sent out to members of the Squirmish email list, and has some exciting announcements! You can join the email list here.


Hiya, Pal!

Thanks for joining the Squirmish Email Club! I’m Steven Stwalley, the game designer and cartoonist behind Squirmish, The Card Game of Brawling Beasties. It has been a while since I have sent anything out to this list. How have you been? Still hanging out at the same bus stop? Did you ever finish that enormous pile of mashed potatoes you were working on? Is that rash doing any better? Well, I hope all is well with you.
I’m going to start sending news out this way on a more regular basis, so tell your pals! Or, if this sounds awful, unsubscribe! I do hope you’ll stay with me, though, as I enjoy your refined digital company, your wit, and the many impressive ways in which you can imitate the sounds of flatulence.
I have a lot of wondrous Squirmish updates to share with you. Like this:

Squirmish: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties is Coming to Steam in May 2024!

The first and most exciting update is that the Squirmish Videogame is almost ready to be released! It will be out this May on Steam. It is designed for single player or two-player PVP play. There are a bunch of new characters of varying degrees of brain-smartses for you to do battle against.
My pal Jeff Faust and I have been working on the videogame adaptation for a number of years now, and I think anyone who likes the tabletop game is going to get a big, fat, hairy kick out of it. In addition to being able to play Squirmish in the way in which you have become accustomed, the videogame also introduces a number of new and interesting play-styles to try out.
You may be even more excited to hear that you do not necessarily have to wait until May to check it out. We are currently looking for a few good playtesters for the Squirmish videogame. Experience the hilarity of unique bugs that (hopefully) won’t make it to the final version! You can sign up to join the playtest by clicking on the button that says “Request Access” under “Join the Squirmish Playtest” on the Squirmish Steam page.
Also, you may want to consider wishlisting the game on Steam so you get a reminder there when it gets released. Do that by clicking the button that says “Add to My Wishlist” on the Squirmish Steam page.
Carl the Magical Wishlist Fairy Will Now Add Squirmish to Your Steam Wishlist
You can check out some gameplay videos on the Squirmish Steam Page or our YouTube page.
Note that, for those of you who do not play videogames on Steam but do elsewhere, we hope to eventually port it to a number of other platforms. Personally, I can’t wait to play it on my toaster.

Squirmish 3.0 Print Edition…

and Expansions!

The Videogame is not all the big news, though! I’m excited to share that the Squirmish tabletop game is about to get a new edition… and some new expansions… in the very near future!
I recently got the rights back from Gamewright so I can self-publish Squirmish again. This will allow me to expand and build on the game however I see fit, which I am very excited to do. I actually have made hundreds of Squirmish cards at this point… I’m looking forward to getting more of them out into the world.
The first thing I will be publishing is a new edition (3.0) of the basic 70-card game you are already familiar with. It will contain the same cards you already know… so it is pretty non-essential for those of you who own the Gamewright edition. There will be some changes… not all of which are good:
  1. There will be a revised rule book (which will also be downloadable for free).
  2. The errors on the cards have been corrected (like the really glaring one on Old Man Eggplant).
  3. The Gamewright-edition googly-eye damage counters will be replaced with the tiddlywink damage counters from Squirmish 1.0.
  4. The cards will be slightly smaller. I am using an excellent print-on-demand service called The Gamecrafter to make the games… but one limitation of print-on-demand is that stuff needs to be built to default specs. So the new cards will be 2.5 inches square instead of 3 and 1/8 inches square.
  5. The backs of the new cards obviously will not have the Gamewright logo, since they are no longer the publisher. Otherwise, they look pretty much the same.
  6. The new set will only come with one green die, and it will just have pips instead of numbers.
I realize the card changes will be annoying-as-holy-howling-heck to some folks who already have a set of these cards. The new cards are compatible with the Gamewright set if you don’t mind intermingling two different size cards with slightly different backs… but that is kind of like shuffling salami and swiss cheese. To try and minimize this annoyance, I will also be offering a no-frills basic card set version that is nothing but the cards at a considerably lower cost than buying the whole 3.0 set (so you can get the cards without the cost of the box, rules, die and tiddlywink damage counters).
Simultaneous to the release of the new 3.0 set, I will also be releasing the first of many planned expansion booster packs… The Biscuit Sisters Vs. The Gravy Brothers set (which will include 24 cards).

Squirmish Discord Server

Squirmish now has a Discord Server! Come and talk with your fellow card-brawlers about the ins, outs and intricacies of the game of Squirmish. Debate the merits of The Wee Admiral of the Sea! Discuss advanced strategies! Post fan art! Share your Killgor the Conqueror fan fic! Report game bugs! I hope to hang out with you there!

Squirmish Art Process

I thought some of you may enjoy seeing some production art in these emails. I still do most of my initial work on paper like some weird Victorian, if you can believe that. I have a pretty esoteric and probably overly-complicated process for creating most of my Squirmish art. It usually goes like this:
1: I scribble on paper. Then I let the scribbles inform some rough pencils that I draw. Then I tighten the pencils just enough to feel comfortable for the inking.
2. I ink on paper, usually using a Pentel Pocket Brush Pen, the single greatest drawing tool ever invented.
3. I do a 600 DPI greyscale scan the black and white art.
4. I convert the scan to vector art in Adobe Illustrator,
5. I paste that vector art into Adobe Animate and clean it up. Then I create three layers. The top layer I leave as black and white line art. The middle layer I color with flat color. The bottom layer I take the shape of all the lines and filled color and make all black to block any potential gaps in the artwork. On the color layer, I generally expand the shape of the color fills by 2 pixels to nest the edges of the color under the lines on the top layer.
6. Once I’m happy with the flat coloring in Adobe Animate, I export the three layers as three separate .svg files.
7. I import my .svg files into three layers in an Adobe Photoshop document. The nice thing about this is that it leaves all my color and line art as vector art, which is infinitely scalable if I ever want to change the size for different purposes.
8. Then I start toning in Photoshop using a stylus on a Huion Kamvas Drawing Tablet. I usually start with the darks. I create a layer between the color and line art and work with black, usually at around 25% opacity. Once I’m happy with the toning, I usually convert the layer to a multiply layer.
9. Then I start with the lights, adding another layer on top of the darks layer. I usually draw with white at around 25% opacity, and then usually apply a blending mode (often overlay at the end.
10. Next, I usually another layer on top of that for highlights. For that I use white at 100% opacity.
11. I sometimes add other layers of other colors, lights and tones to get it looking snappy.
12. After that, I generally add a simple background behind everything with shadows and light of its own.
Here is some rough art on paper I used in creating the Squirmish Email Club header at the top of this email.
Most of this drawing was too quick and embarrassingly cruddy to be usable, but I did use a very digitally-edited version of the banner for the email header.
I took some more time drawing these reprobates that ended up being used in the final header above.
Anyhow, thanks again for playing Squirmish and for subscribing! I’ll talk to you soon. Until then, I recommend trying some lotion on the rash. It can’t hurt.
Yer pal,

SQUIRMISH: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties Gameplay Video: Tutufly vs. Manny Oldman… plus a Tutufly Tutorial

SQUIRMISH: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties is almost here (you can follow and wishlist it on Steam here)! Here is a gameplay video to whet your appetite for it:

Also here is a video of a tutorial of Tutufly teaching how to play the videogame:

Let Carl Help You Wishlist Squirmish the Videogame of Brawling Beasties on Steam!

Carl the Magical Wishlist Fairy Will Now Add Squirmish to Your Steam Wishlist

Squirmish: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties is coming very soon… so soon that there is now a store page for it on Steam here.

We enlisted the help of Carl the Steam Wishlist Fairy to automatically add Squirmish to your Steam wishlist so you will know when it becomes available to download and play… but that did not work out so well. Please help Carl out by going to the Squirmish Steam Store and clicking “Add to Your Wishlist.”

Carl means well.

Squirmish: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties is a hilarious turn-based card-battling game based on the critically-acclaimed tabletop game of the same name. Battle bizarre and ridiculous cards in both single-player and online PVP multiplayer modes. Rumble against a horde of ridiculous opponents created just for the videogame, such as Tutufly, Picklepuss and Beatknock. Easy to learn how to play… but the strange strategies and interactions of the wildly-varying cards create a unique, unpredictable and infinitely-playable game!

#squirmish #squirmishgame #videogame #videogames #cardgame #cardgames #tcg #ccg #cardfighting #cardbattler #cardbattling #steam #earlyaccess #comingsoon #game #games #funny #monsters #beasts #lunatics #comic #comics #cartoons

Squirmish Reviewed at

Just in time for Halloween, Squirmish has been reviewed at as one of “The Best Monster Board Games for the Family!” Read it here.

“Squirmish is a very original card-battle game with the most incredibly imaginative monsters. I can’t stress enough how funny the creatures are in this game. From their pictures, to their descriptions, to their powers – it’s all so creative and hilarious.” -Ryan Billingsley at



The other day I was feeling overwhelmed and helpless reading about coronavirus.

In one article I ran across (I can’t find it now, unfortunately) a mother mentioned that there were no good resources she knew of for teaching kids not to touch their faces to avoid getting sick. Well, that seemed like a problem I could take a crack at helping with.

Over the last week, I put together a free print-and-play game on the subject, appropriately named “DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE!” It makes the surprisingly difficult task of not touching your face into a fun, competitive challenge. I hope it gives some families out there some help and some laughs in these difficult times of itchy noses that must stay itchy.

Download DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE 1.0 (color version)

Download DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE 1.0 (B&W version)

Please feel free to share and distribute.

#coronavirus #pandemic #games #printandplay #kids #kidsgames #kidsactivities #activities #educationalgames #educational #handwashing #safety