THE NEWSLETTER OF THE SQUIRMISH EMAIL CLUB | VOLUME 1 NUMBER 3

Hiya, Pal!

Happy Summer! Watch out for that sun… hope you have plenty of SPF. No, I’m not talking about sunscreen, I’m talking about SQUIRMISH PLAY FUN. No sunscreen is needed to avoid sunburn… simply spend your entire summer holed up in a cool, dark basement playing your favorite videogame Squirmish!

Speaking of Summer… it is currently the annual Steam Summer Sale! Squirmish is 50% off on Steam right now to celebrate sunshine, more sunshine, melting popsicles, dogs hiding in terror from fireworks, and the smell of hot asphalt as it burns your bare feet. Again; cool, dark basement with videogames on the teevee is beckoning you.

RECENT SQUIRMISH REVIEWS AND STREAMS

“Gonzo, crass, and hilarious, Squirmish is one of the weirdest, most amusing digital board games out there—but its gameplay also carries its weight. The voice acting made us cackle.” – Recommended by Steam Curator Noteworthy Video Games

“Recommended. Proudly crude in every sense of the word, this adaptation of the zany tabletop title offers a breadth and depth in both its gameplay and set of features. But it’s the hilarious voice acting that’s #1.” – Recommended by Steam Curator The Absolute Finest

“The first thing that stands out about the game is how much it looks and feels just like the card game in terms of presentation and artwork. All the cards the game has are in this digital copy with bright neon green background, crazy colors, characters zany and the whole thing feels like it was vomited up by a unicorn who had a fantastic day at the carnival eating all the candy and taking all the rides. And let me make myself clear, this is not a bad thing.” – Dad Geek at Geeks Vs. Geeks

“I’ve been a longtime fan of the tabletop card game and have been curious how the game would translate to digital. The answer is… squeamishly great. Squirmish is a game that’s a little hideous and extremely bizarre in all the best ways, and seeing the world’s characters animated is a warped delight. As far as the gameplay side, the game provides a surprisingly intense little battling game with a lot of strategy and just a little luck to keep things interesting. The game’s cast of 70 monsters is packed with a diverse selection of abilities and attack powers, many of them changing the tide of battle in unique and interesting ways. Additionally, you’ll find various clusters of fighters that are part of different “groups” that become stronger when multiple are on the board, whether controlled by you, your opponent, or both. Card game enthusiasts (especially anyone who enjoys the Pokemon TCG) will have a lot to chew on as they find their favorite strategies and monsters.” – Recommended on Steam by PewterPiranha

“I’m not familiar with the tabletop game it’s based on (imagine having IRL friends ;p), but this game’s got a nice balance of having a solid tutorial and loads of depth (especially in terms of card interactions/synergies). fantastic hand-drawn art, monster designs, and the sense of humor is genuinely amusing and endearing. plus the voice acting is delightful. seems like a robust package, will have to wrangle some friends together to go for some online shenanigans.” – Recommended on Steam by MarshMelody

In addition to these awesome reviews, we have also had some players stream their games… here are a couple to check out:

GEEKY_BATT

GEEKPUNKT (in German)

If you or your buddies review or stream Squirmish, I’d love to hear about it so I can include it in the newsletter. Please send me your links!

ORANGE GENERIC GUY’S
EPIC SQUIRMISH QUEST

Orange Generic Guy, best known as Human One, the default player avatar in Squirmish has a mission. He’s decided to see if he can battle all the way through the Squirmish Rogue’s Gallery! You can watch his epic quest unfold on YouTube here. You may even learn some good Squirmish strategy along the way… through both good and bad examples!

WATCH ORANGE GENERIC GUY’S EPIC SQUIRMISH QUEST ON YOUTUBE

PLAY AT THE SPEED OF HYPERSPAZ!

A new technical advancement that will STUN THE WORLD has been added to Squirmish: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties in our latest update! We have developed… the HYPERSPAZ button!

Yes, they said it couldn’t be done… they said it was impossible… they said it was just a fancy name for a fast-forward button… BUT WE SHOWED THEM! Mad, they called us! MAD! Mad is not my name!

Tired of Picklepuss and his incessant whining? Sick of Beatknock’s endless poetic prattling? Don’t want to wait for General Mayhem to figure out the last detail of his master plan?

Well now you can feel like some dashing space pilot in a vest with a tough exterior (but a heart of gold) as you click that HYPERSPAZ button and watch the time whiz by like a well-oiled roadrunner thrown off of the Empire State Building!*

ABOVE: Pompaduck points out the location of the new HYPERSPAZ button. It can be activated by holding down the button, using the spacebar, by using the right trigger button on your controller, or by standing in place and spinning around until you get nauseous.

*PLEASE NOTE we are NOT RESPONSIBLE for premature growing of long grey whiskers, or for time paradoxes that may be caused by frequent use of the HYPERSPAZ button. In the event you meet a version of your parents that are younger than you, best to go outside and play.

BEYOND HYPERSPAZ…

EVEN MORE UPDATES!

ROGUES’ GALLERY WIN STREAKS

AND PRIZE CARDS

Some notes from the Version Update: 0.3.18 (Early Access) Rogues’ Gallery Win Streaks and Prize Cards

Rogues’ Gallery In the spirit of Early Access, we continue to improve and evolve the Rogue’s Gallery content into a more complete experience. Previously, it was not obvious in the game that defeating each rogue opponent not only unlocked the next opponent but also unlocked use of that rogue’s character as your in-game avatar. When used as an avatar, that character’s animations appear in the left hand portrait during matches and you can express yourself using that character’s collection of Smacktalk emotes.

With this update, we’ve made it a little more challenging to unlock each rogue’s avatar. Moving forward, a simple defeat of a Rogues’ Gallery opponent will unlock the next opponent and earn you a Steam Achievement, but to unlock a rogue’s avatar for your own use, you must defeat the rogue 3 times in a row in the Rogues’ Gallery. (Sparring matches don’t count).

To track your win streaks, each rogue portrait in the Rogues’ Gallery lobby is now decorated with 3 stars. With a win streak of one, one of these stars will be lit yellow, and the others gray. When all three are yellow, the rogue’s avatar becomes permanently unlocked and you also get a Prize Card (see below). Note that this requires a 3-game win streak, not merely 3 wins. If you lose or concede a game against a rogue, your win streak against that rogue will reset to zero, and all that rogue’s stars will become gray again. Once you’ve unlocked some rogue avatars, you can switch to a new avatar using the User Settings popup that can be opened on the home screen.

Prize Cards Prize Cards are a new addition this release. A Prize Card is very similar to a Steam Achievement, except they are unique to Squirmish and signify accomplishments that also unlock important items or features. Plus, although they have no in-game effect, they look just like other Squirmish cards.

A PRIZES section has been added in the CARDS area of the game, next to COLLECTION, DECKS, and MINI-DECKS. All awarded prize cards can be browsed in this section, and you can examine each of them they same way you examine any other Squirmish card. Each will explain what you accomplished to earn the card, and what prize was unlocked by it. Each prize card even even has its own “battle cry”. The first block of Prize Cards are awarded for accomplishing a challenging win streak against a rogue, and each one unlocks the rogue avatar pictured on the card.

NEW SQUIRMISH RULEBOOKS!

New rulebooks for Squirmish (both the videogame and the tabletop game) have recently been completed. You can check them out at the links below. The updated version of the tabletop game will be coming very soon (along with some new expansions).

SQUIRMISH: The Videogame of Brawling Beasties rules 1.0

SQUIRMISH: The Card Game of Brawling Beasties rules 3.0

SOWING DISCORD!

Along with getting ready for the videogame launch, I have been working on a lot of new Squirmish cards for future release. In the last email (and on our Discord server), I introduced you to CHOMPSTER with this hand-drawn-on-paper-like-it-was-the-nineteenth-century image…

Chompster’s card has now been completed! Here is the final color art.

I previewed the Chompster color art on the Squirmish Discord server a while ago, along with a couple of other new characters you can go there and take a looksie at, if you wanna. That is not the only reason to check out our Discord…

We’ve been having fun making loads of emoji and stickers for our Squirmish Discord server. Emoji of all 70 classic Squirmish fighters are now available, along with a bunch of fun animated emoji and stickers of different characters in the videogame. Here are a few of my favorites:

Prancy Pepperpot gives a greeting:

“Helloooooooooooooooooooooo!”

Oinker, the embodiment of internet outrage:

“WHAT THE WHAT YOU WHAT!?!”

Shoobozzle does not approve of any of this:

“Nah-ope.”

Check the rest of ’em out at the Squirmish Discord server!

In the event you have Discord Nitro, you can use the Squirmish stickers and emoji anywhere on Discord!

Note the stickers can be removed with persistence using a mixture of cooking oil, salt, a hair dryer, uncut fingernails and a lot of elbow grease.

Anyhow, thanks again for playing Squirmish and for subscribing! I don’t care what everyone says about you; you’re one of the good ones, buddy!

Yer pal,

Steve