HAIRY SQUIRMUSS!
SQUIRMUSS DAY HAS ARRIVED!
It’s less than half an hour to Squimuss Day, December 26th… it is time for St. Thick to arise from the toilet for the annual holiday of card battling!
If you have the videogame on Steam, you may already be enjoying your free St. Thick promo card this month (if you don’t have the videogame, it is currently 65% off… $2.44).
St. Thick’s special ability has been adding to the fun all month… and the big day for using that ability is upon us:
SEASON’S BEATINGS
In December you may say this card’s battle cry before any attack by any card to do +1 DAMAGE. On December 26th (Squirmuss Day) it does +2 DAMAGE.
To celebrate the coming of St. Thick, here is some holiday poesy for you:
THE NIGHT BEFORE SQUIRMUSS
‘Twas the night before Squirmuss, when all thru the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a louse;
Stinky socks were hung by the toilet with care,
In fears that St. Thick would soon emerge from there;
The creatures were gnarled all caged up like felons,
While omens of salty wounds pounded their melons,
When down in the bathroom there arose such a fuss,
I knew it could only be that ornery cuss.
As I went to the head, and was turning around,
Up out of the toilet came St. Thick with a bound:
He was dress’d all in plastic, from his head to his boot,
And his clothes were all tarnish’d with unspeakable toot;
A sack full of cards was flung on his rear,
And his voice sounded like a high-pitched Bronx cheer:
His eyes?—? how they glazed! His dimples: how scary,
His cheeks were like roses, his nose aviary;
His droll little mouth was stretched out in a fright,
And the drool on his chin gleamed into the the night;
A stump of lead pipe he held tight in his paw,
Painted with stripes so it looked like a straw.
He had an ugly face, and a big round booty,
That shook when he screech’d, like a bowl full of cooties;
He was smelly and plump, a right scary old freak,
And I scream’d when I saw him, too scared to speak;
A wink of his eye and a shake of his buns
Soon gave me to know I had nowhere to run.
He spoke not a word as he jiggled his butt,
And fill’d all the stockings with I don’t want to know what,
Laying his finger on each side of his tush
And giving a nod, down the toilet he flushed.
As he spun down into the septic undertow,
cards with his image ’round the room he did throw:
And I heard him exclaim, ere he flushed out of sight?—?
“Hairy Squirmuss to all, and to all a good fright!”
Want a St. Thick card for your tabletop deck? While supplies last, if you post something about Squirmish somewhere on the internet and email me with a link to it along with your mailing address, St. Thick will be stinking up in your mailbox before you know it, ready for next year’s battles.
I’ve heard that some people apparently celebrate other holidays this time of year… what a crazy coincidence! If you do, I hope you’re enjoying celebrating those as well!
