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Meet the Squirmish™ Cards | Card 3: Kittyclops

Card 3: Kittyclops
Squirmish is now on Kickstarter here. This is a series of posts designed to help you learn a bit about some of the cards before you play the game.

Squirmish card number 3 is Kittyclops.

She plays it cute and innocent with that darling, big orb in her head… but if she gets a six on her basic attack, her opponent gets cat scratch fever, and the player controlling her can peek at an opponent’s hand and discard one of their cards.

Any time Kittyclops is attacked, the player controlling her gets to draw a card. What are opponents thinking attacking this cute widdul kitty kat, anyhow? They are sick, I tell you.

Notice, the yellow border around the card… the alternate color indicates this is group card. Group cards have a different color border around them than most cards, which is the color of all the cards in that group. Her group is the Kitty Cat Club, the biggest group in the game. All members of the Kitty Cat Club have the same special ability (which is not true of all groups). A Kitty Kat Club member can never, ever attack another member of the Kitty Kat Club. It has always been in their club charter, which reads in section 26, line 8:

“It is hereby declared that no member of the Kitty Kat Club, be they big and fluffy, or short in hair and stature, shall ever attack any other member of the Kitty Kat Club, even if they really deserve it. For we cats must always and forever stick apart. Meow Meow Meow Mew-Meow! Kibbles and Catnip for all!”

Meet the Squirmish™ Cards | Card 2: Opossrat

Card 2: Oppossrat

Squirmish is now on Kickstarter here. This is a series of posts designed to help you learn a bit about some of the cards before you play the game.

Opossrat is the second card in the Squirmish™ deck. Part opossum, part rat, all warrior. She is tougher than she looks… her prehostile tail works like a whip with spiky hairs on the end.

Her basic attack always does damage, regardless of the roll, which is a big plus. She also has a really nice defense… attackers can only attack her if they roll a 5 or a 6… otherwise she fools them by playing dead.

She’s very convincing at playing dead. She will stagger around clutching her chest melodramatically before she is even hit saying something like “OH! MY TICKER! IT’S A GIVIN’ OUT!” or “MAYBE I SHOULDNTA EATEN THAT MOLDY MUFFIN I FOUND BY THE LATRINE!” or “YOU BROKE MY HEART, BOBBY JOE, YOU SCOUNDREL!”

She then falls to the ground with a thud and gurgles out a “death rattle.” This is followed by her using some special glands to emit a horrific “rotting meat and pickles” stench as she somehow does an uncanny imitation of a bugle playing the song “taps.”

Actually, the stench may have more to do with her defense being effective than her performance, come to think of it.

Meet the Squirmish™ Cards | Card 1: Puffo

Card 1: Puffo

Squirmish is now on Kickstarter here. This is the first in a series of posts designed to help you learn a bit about some of the cards before you play the game.

Puffo is the first card in the Squirmish deck.

Puffo is a squishy-looking dragon… she is actually part cow, which explains why she says “MOOGA” as her battle cry. She jiggles a lot when she walks… she kind of looks like she is made of gelatin.

Puffo is a pretty powerful card. Her basic attack never fails to inflict damage, regardless of the roll. This is in spite of the fact that she does not have fire-breath… she can actually only produce smoke with her roar. Second-hand smoke can do a lot of damage, though.

On top of that, her defense is good… she takes -1 damage from all attacks. Her 11 hitpoints is a good amount… the most any Squirmish card has to date is 16.

She is pretty good-natured and mellow overall. She’d really rather be off hoarding popsicles somewhere (as is her wont), but the field of battle has presented itself, so battle she will.